Thursday, July 14, 2016

7 Months




Happy 7 months!
If there's been a theme these past couple months, it's let go. My life has become much more enjoyable now that I've let go of a lot of assumptions and judgments I imposed on myself, my husband, and my baby. Some of my stress was probably due to working--even though it was just part time--but I'm on summer break now, so I can ease up on everything. Then again Worrier Me (AKA Can't Enjoy the Moment Me) is like, But you'll be working full-time in a couple months, so don't get too comfortable. Anyway, for now, I can let go.

Recent firsts: mastering rolling over both ways, sitting up, eating solid foods (like a champ!), clapping, going to the lake, going to the pool, wearing shoes, visiting tíos and prima on the coast for a long day trip, going to a party--he's been busy! 

Updates:

EC. He's now going in a potty 3-5 times every day (#1 and occasionally #2) . Something just kind of clicked when we started using a small potty. I never imagined how exciting pee and poop could be. I'm really happy we're doing this.

Sleep. We loosened up about napping--what a difference that made! He was sleeping too much during the day, but we didn't know; we were just trying to follow what "everyone" said. Now he's been falling asleep more easily and staying asleep longer at night and during naps (but he takes fewer naps). It's difficult when he goes through changes, though, and we don't know what's happening. 

Teeth. I've been feeling a tooth distinctly for a couple months now, but it's taking its sweet time I guess. He sometimes grabs my finger and rubs it aggressively across his gums, so I know it must bother him somewhat. I hope it comes in soon.

He loves music and dancing (he's a merenguero), food, and playing horsey on our knees. This is a fun time now that he plays with toys and his own feet and he's much more flexible about being in public places and the car. There's always a tradeoff. He gets more complicated but more independent. Next up: crawling and walking. Oh boy. 





Thursday, June 9, 2016

June

The view from my back door (just beyond that row of trees is my campus)

I've always felt like this time of the year has special significance. It's my birthday month, which might have something to do with it, but there's more. My life has been organized by academic years, so right about now every year, I get a little break and a chance to live for myself. It's also a time to deal with problems I've put off, and in general, it's a time for change.

Facebook is reminding me that seven years ago, I had just moved to Monterey. Because I know how this story plays out, it's bittersweet reading those memories. 

One year later, I was very sick. My now-ex had said something heartless and I knew our marriage was over. We had an explosive argument and a couple days later, let's say it wasn't the only thing that was explosive. My body was ridding itself of a virus, and I was mentally ridding myself of a shit person and building emotional immunity to protect myself.

Then again, I'm also seeing posts from a year after that, when we had finally separated, and I was able to feel joy again. I see hidden messages in my posts: "A hike at Garland Ranch" is read, "There might be romance in my life again. Woo hoo!" I remember feeling free, even though I had no plans for a stable future. Life was wonderful.

Other years, I've quit or started jobs around this time, I've taken big trips, I've started little projects, and yes, I've even gotten new hairstyles. This year, nothing truly momentous is happening, but I still feel that sense of change and renewal. I'm looking for ways to grow, refocus my energy, and get as much out of my life as possible. 

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Hair Stuff


I just refuse to look normal in photos. Can't take myself too seriously, you know. I'm a little windblown after a long walk with a not-wanting-to-nap baby (sleeping in the Moby here, by the way).

After contemplating a big chop for quite some time, I finally did it yesterday, about an hour after submitting final grades. I hate debuting a new haircut in front of students. I really needed a new look, and my long hair was driving me up the wall. When Sam turned about 3 months, all that extra hair I had accumulated during pregnancy starting falling out en masse, and my long strands were all over the house, stuck to Sam's drooly face, and clogging up our drains. It had to go.

And since I don't post a lot of photos of myself here, this is what I looked like in January on an especially good hair day. 


It feels good. 

I've also recently experimented with using baking soda and vinegar in place of shampoo and conditioner (inspired by Ashley a million years ago). After just one day, I was a convert, although I'm still trying to use up some conditioner. Vinegar really does soften and detangle if you can believe it. 

There's the hair update I know you've all been yearning for. 

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

5 Months





Whoa.

Months 3-5 have been ... I don't even know where to start. Confusing. Tiring. Occasionally joyful. But mostly just really really difficult. The first couple of months were easy--and even I could see that at the time--but the emotional roller coaster has officially begun. Sam's going through some big changes now, and each day and night is different from the one before. I'm trying to understand it and not fight it, and most important, I'm trying not to feel like a failure.

I think I've finally learned my lesson: DON'T GOOGLE THINGS. Babies do their thing. I can encourage him to do my thing, but in the end, the baby will do what he has to. I'm just here to make funny noises and be drooled on.

In other news --

Sam lost a bunch of hair but still kept most of it. He grew some eyebrows, though. 

We took our first trip with the baby at the very beginning of April. We just spent a couple days in Monterey visiting friends. It was stressful at first, but I'm really glad we did it because now we're all more comfortable going out places.

For a while, he stopped liking being in a sling, so we got in the habit of carrying him around. It's funny how many parents I see with an empty stroller and their baby in their arms. We recently tried wearing him again, and he was okay with it, so now I sometimes take him for long walks.

Just before he hit 4 months, he laughed for the first time. I said before that I didn't want him to start laughing because his silent smile just killed me and I didn't want that to change, but I take it back. Silent smiles are great, but so is laughter. His eyes get squinty and you can see some subtle dimples. He hasn't been babbling as much these days, but laughter is a nice replacement. 

He weighed in at 17 pounds at his 4-month doctor's appointment. Go, breastmilk! Speaking of, breastfeeding used to consume my entire day, and I finally understood why some women choose to formula feed. It was intense. Now, though, it's no big deal, and obviously, it's working.

At 4 1/2 months, he rolled over for the first time. He went back-to-belly, which I hear is the unconventional way babies perform their first roll-over, and watch me be 0% surprised my son is already unconventional. 

EC is coming along. He seems to be responding to the "pee" sound we make most of the time now. 

Babies seem to be everywhere! How did I not notice just how many babies there are out and about? We now do that thing where we ooh and aah over other people's babies and they ask, "How old?" and we're like grocery store BFFs for 10 seconds.

I found this company that sells simple, affordable baby clothes. Unfortunately, we prefer rompers or shirt/pants to onesies, and it's too hot for the long sleeved items now, but I like the concept anyway. Instead, we recently bought him some drop-crotch (too legit) pants that grow with him!

Take care, everyone. Thanks for reading.



Sunday, May 8, 2016

Mothers Day


Here we are. Blurry. Just after a midday bath after a couple of spit-up-ful days. Sam is on the verge of crying because he couldn't seem to nap all morning. I, too, am in need of a nap (I won't get) after he woke up at 1 a.m. the night before and didn't want to go back to sleep. I'm in a nursing tank/pajamas because it was a day I didn't have to go in to work, and I no longer wear real clothing unless absolutely necessary.

"Hey, let's take a selfie." 

Happy Mothers Day, to my own mom and all my mom friends out there.