Sunday, May 29, 2011

No more elephant in the room

After almost 9 years of marriage, Rich and I have separated and intend to divorce. We've been struggling for the past couple years, and we've come to a point where we are without any hope for happiness together in the future. We've agreed that it's time to move on.

I've moved out, but I'm staying in Monterey. This was a difficult choice to make. Essentially, I had 3 options: move near my parents (or in with them), move to another city where I could see myself settling down permanently, or stay here and try to make a life out of the pieces I already have. The truth is that I like it here. I'm tired of moving, and I could see Monterey being a permanent home. If in 6 months or a year, I don't feel like I'm thriving, then I can reconsider, but I'll enjoy it while I can.

If there's a bright side, it's all the support I've received from family and friends. I've even strengthened some friendships over the past couple weeks. I suppose I was worried that people would scorn me or distance themselves from me, but I think the opposite has been true. Even my boss at the college was kind and happily gave me two classes to teach in the fall and a summer class. All of this has given me hope that I can pick up these pieces and keep on going.

There's so much more to say, but I'll leave it at that for now. Thank you for reading.

6 comments:

Bearette said...

Thanks for writing! I look forward to seeing where you go. And Monterey does seem lovely.

c.a.b. said...

Kate,
You are in my thoughts and on my heart. much love from the east...

Domestic Kate said...

Thanks, C. I feel the love already.

And thanks, Bearette. I'm looking forward to seeing where I go too :)

rockygrace said...

Oh, I'm sorry to hear this. I'll be thinking of you ... better times are ahead. Sometimes just making the decision is the hardest part.

Domestic Kate said...

rocky, you're right about the decision being the hardest part. The "will we or won't we?" has been exhausting. At least now the issue has been decided and I can make the necessary plans for my life.

Elly said...

I've been busy with my new job so I'm just getting around to reading this post. If you ever need a place to crash, we've got an extra bedroom. :)