I keep starting posts and not finishing them. Eventually, I just delete them. I'm still here, you might say, but invisible.
The new job has taken quite a toll on me these past months. I'm trying to be gentle and forgiving with myself, but the transition has not been smooth. We're just a few weeks away from the end of the semester, and I feel like I never got into a rhythm. It's not that I'm unhappy with this new position; it's just come as a surprise how difficult the adjustment has been. In fact, I think the problem is that I've been trying to adjust and to do what's expected when I should just trust my experience. Next semester will be better.
Among this already trying time, last month, I lost my grandmother, my last living grandparent. My husband and I drove up to Washington for the funeral service this past weekend. The trip was exhausting. It too was not exactly smooth either, but at least I got to spend some time with family and visit my home state again. I'm homesick and wishing I knew my grandmother better. I don't believe in an afterlife (or, I don't expect one anyway), but when I saw a photo one of my cousins posted online of my grandparents together at their 70th wedding anniversary, somehow I knew they were together again, if only because that's what she believed. It gave me some comfort knowing that.
In happier news, the husband and I celebrated our first year of marriage last month. Time has flown by. Also, recently, some friends invited us to go with them to Yosemite. It was our first time going, and we were able to snap some shots of the beautiful fall weather. Actually, the weather has finally cooled off here in Turlock, and we've even gotten some rain. The leaves on the trees here are turning colors and it's nice being able to note the passage of time.
I hope you're all staying warm out there (or enjoying cooling off like I am). Be good, everyone. I'll be back soon.