Friday, June 12, 2015

Oh, Baby!

Blurry photo, my toes sneaking in at the bottom, caught up in a moment of nervous excitement
You might have noticed I've been a little absent from my usual posts about soup and whatnot, but the proverbial bun in the oven has kind of taken over my thoughts.

I'm going to be a mother, you guys. Of human offspring. Whoa. I'm at 12 weeks, and the baby's due date is December 22. We had our first ultrasound today. The websites say my baby is about the size of a lime or a plum. 

I hesitated making the big online announcement until today because I was having some surprising fears about this pregnancy. We'd been kind-of-trying and trying-trying for more than two years, so at first it hardly seemed real. I took two pregnancy tests and I still expected the doctor to say we had read them wrong. Then, I was convinced that I had lost the baby (even though there was no reason to believe that), and I was convinced it was because of my ineptitude or because my body is deficient. Needless to say, it's been a very stressful time for me these past several weeks. 

Seeing the baby on the screen today, hearing the heartbeat, and learning that everything looks fine at this point was an incredible relief. I finally feel excited about the baby and not just completely nervous. I know women always say this, but the fact that my body is making and housing another human is fascinating. Seeing him/her today made me feel like we have a relationship, and it went a long way towards helping me trust myself and my body. 

I'm feeling good physically--no morning sickness (lucky me!), but my appetite is certainly strange. I'm craving tangy, sour foods like mustard, Italian dressing, and limeade. I was feeling very fatigued in the beginning, but now that I'm on summer break, I'm resting and not getting crazy tired. As for the baby bump, now I understand what women were talking about when they'd say, "I don't look pregnant yet, just fat." That has not stopped me from wearing maternity clothes already. 

We'll be moving into a bigger place in the coming weeks, and I've already started knitting some baby items. Day by day, it becomes more real. Now I can finally say this and mean it: we're thrilled. 

As always, thanks for reading.