Monday, January 18, 2016

1 Month

I swore I wasn't going to plaster my child's image all over the internet, but can you blame me? 

The past 5 weeks have certainly flown by in a blur of nursing and lots of terrible daytime TV (secretly, I'm grateful for crime drama marathons).

Some people have asked how motherhood is going. You know? It feels pretty normal actually, which is weird since I had always gone back and forth about wanting kids before. I expected a dramatic change the day he was born, and I was scared because I didn't think I'd handle that well, but it hasn't been like that at all. Basically, it's just one foot in front of the other.

Breastfeeding has gone well, and he happily takes a bottle of breastmilk on the rare occasion I've left the house on my own--both are a big relief. I never realized just how much babies looooove milk. He's put on more than 2 pounds already. 

People also ask me about sleep. I read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, and it helped me develop a good attitude towards sleep. For one, I've been lucky in that Sam sleeps in chunks of about 3 hours at night most nights, so it's not bad. For now, he sleeps next to me in bed most the time, which I think helps us both sleep better. But when he's not sleeping well, I try to remember that babies need to wake up to eat. I'm not constantly thinking, "It would be great if he'd just sleep through the night," because no, it wouldn't be. My definition of sleeping appropriately (8 continuous hours of sleep every night) works for our modern life, but that's not to say it's the only way to get enough sleep. At the moment, I'm not stressing too much about sleep.

The hardest part is leaving the house. We have to bring so much stuff, and then I worry about how comfortable he's going to be, and WHAT IF HE CRIES, and it just doesn't seem worth it. I mean, we don't really need groceries, do we? I can't leave by myself unless I've pumped enough milk, but little Sam eats constantly, so it's hard to find a window of opportunity to pump. This is that fourth trimester I've heard women talk about; we're still very much attached. 

We have good days and bad days. In the past week, he's done a lot of waking up (he slept through his first few weeks), and we've officially entered the, "What do you want?" phase as he's figured out grunting and crying. We're learning, though. There's a special kind of joy in getting an infant to fart when he's painfully gassy.

I'm eager to learn more about who this little person is.