Months 3-5 have been ... I don't even know where to start. Confusing. Tiring. Occasionally joyful. But mostly just really really difficult. The first couple of months were easy--and even I could see that at the time--but the emotional roller coaster has officially begun. Sam's going through some big changes now, and each day and night is different from the one before. I'm trying to understand it and not fight it, and most important, I'm trying not to feel like a failure.
I think I've finally learned my lesson: DON'T GOOGLE THINGS. Babies do their thing. I can encourage him to do my thing, but in the end, the baby will do what he has to. I'm just here to make funny noises and be drooled on.
In other news --
Sam lost a bunch of hair but still kept most of it. He grew some eyebrows, though.
We took our first trip with the baby at the very beginning of April. We just spent a couple days in Monterey visiting friends. It was stressful at first, but I'm really glad we did it because now we're all more comfortable going out places.
For a while, he stopped liking being in a sling, so we got in the habit of carrying him around. It's funny how many parents I see with an empty stroller and their baby in their arms. We recently tried wearing him again, and he was okay with it, so now I sometimes take him for long walks.
Just before he hit 4 months, he laughed for the first time. I said before that I didn't want him to start laughing because his silent smile just killed me and I didn't want that to change, but I take it back. Silent smiles are great, but so is laughter. His eyes get squinty and you can see some subtle dimples. He hasn't been babbling as much these days, but laughter is a nice replacement.
He weighed in at 17 pounds at his 4-month doctor's appointment. Go, breastmilk! Speaking of, breastfeeding used to consume my entire day, and I finally understood why some women choose to formula feed. It was intense. Now, though, it's no big deal, and obviously, it's working.
At 4 1/2 months, he rolled over for the first time. He went back-to-belly, which I hear is the unconventional way babies perform their first roll-over, and watch me be 0% surprised my son is already unconventional.
EC is coming along. He seems to be responding to the "pee" sound we make most of the time now.
Babies seem to be everywhere! How did I not notice just how many babies there are out and about? We now do that thing where we ooh and aah over other people's babies and they ask, "How old?" and we're like grocery store BFFs for 10 seconds.
I found this company that sells simple, affordable baby clothes. Unfortunately, we prefer rompers or shirt/pants to onesies, and it's too hot for the long sleeved items now, but I like the concept anyway. Instead, we recently bought him some drop-crotch (too legit) pants that grow with him!
Take care, everyone. Thanks for reading.